I wish I were above thinking these are hysterical...but I'm not.
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"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge"
- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in reply
"A sheep in sheep's clothing."
- Winston Churchill, on Clement Atlee
"There but for the grace of God, goes God."
- Winston Churchill, on Stafford Cripps
"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself and hurried on as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin
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9 comments:
Where did you find these? I'm sending them to Papa- he'll think they're funny too.
LB
These are getting printed out for dinner conversation tomorrow! Thanks - and I hope you never grow above having a healthy sense of humor!
LB: these were from the father of my dh's best friend. He is the only one I know who sends decent "humor" mailings to massive lists.
Sparrow: the reason I doubt myself on these is not that I don't think they are funny--it's just that I seem to lose my sense of humor when someone would say these about ME! But it would still be funny, right? grin
These are hilarious. :~) And things are usually funnier when they're about someone else. It's just the way things work. ;~)
KathyJo (who would be quite upset if you said any of these things about me *grin*)
Well, yeah, of course I would be offended if they were being said about/to me, but they are a riot when aimed elsewhere. Not just you- part of the human condition, I think.
LB, who really should be in bed.
That Churchill was a sharp guy, wasn't he?
ROFLOL! Thanks.
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